Help, my wife hates that I’m just a nurse!

Today’s letter is from Dear Prudence:

I am a nurse who is male. Not a male nurse (that term is considered offensive). I have been married for over a year. When we were dating I got the feeling my now wife wasn’t too thrilled with my job choice. She teased me about it, saying things like how I must really have wanted to be a doctor but didn’t have the brains. I talked to her about it. I told her that I never wanted to be “more than” a nurse, and to be able to take care of people had been my dream for years. Medicine is too hands-off for me, and I never even thought of that route. She apologized and said she understood, and the comments stopped. She even seemed to appreciate what I did. Now that we are married the comments are starting again. Last night she was on her laptop and called me over. She pointed out an APN program at a local college and said, “If you can’t be a doctor, you can at least be better than an RN.” I told her that I had no interest in an advanced degree. APNs take on a physician’s role, which is not what I want, or work in administration, which is also not what I want. All I want is to be a bedside nurse, taking care of people to the best of my ability.

Dear male nurse,

It’s okay if you don’t aspire to make anything out of your life, but you have to see it from her perspective. Why would any woman want to be married to someone who passionately loves helping people and spending time with the people they help? I mean how are you supposed to become loaded if you’re always just a nurse. Instead of caring so much about these helpless and sick people, you should be helping yourself and your wife get rich!

You should really just listen to her and give up your job that presumably provides enough income while also giving you a sense of purpose. While you are doing that, you should pressure her to change her career as well. Perhaps then, she can just support you and then you can give up your little job and take care of the house.

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