Flirtatious boss thinks you’re her cheap thrill

From Ask A Manager:

“I had to share this. I got to work this morning and found a thank-you note from my boss saying how much she appreciates me and the work I do. I work in an industry that is typically low-paying, and didn’t receive a raise at the beginning of this fiscal year (this was for everyone, not just me). So I really appreciated this gesture from her.

I wonder why other bosses don’t do the same? Or do they and I had just never had one before?”

I hear the sarcasm in your tone. You’re correct, you should get more pay. The sex work industry needs to be recognized more often and in better ways. I’m not sure from context whether you are in burleseque, a “massseuse”, or a more hands on prostitute. A note just doesn’t cut it. How back-handed and aggressive of him. The problem starts with your industry’s self-esteem. Your boss shamed you for wanting more than you have. Of course, he’s grateful that you practically work for free!

Your compensation exists as part of your one-on-one business arrangement. It has nothing to do with it being for “everyone”. I challenge you to take a second look at your logic. A number of my friends, coworkers, and family have received raises this fiscal year. Apparently, this pay freeze wasn’t for everyone. We call this confirmation bias. You asked people who didn’t receive raises if they didn’t receive raises. They didn’t receive raises so you concluded no raises.

Your boss being a woman, it’s pretty obvious that this note wasn’t a thank you. Your boss loves you romantically! How could you have missed all the signs? You’re being negged and teased by low pay. As far as romances go, your boss acts like a wimp. Why not just confess her love in person like a real man?

When other bosses share thank you notes, employees know it’s a red flag. Or at least a yellow flag. You’re just one step away from a very appreciative pink slip. Frame the note on your wall to motivate you during your search for another low paying, self-hating job. May I suggest graphic designer or scientist.

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