Today’s letter comes from Dear Prudence:
Stolen kitchen dreams: I’ve always loved cooking and design, so when I told my best friend about my dream stove, she must have known I really had a special place in my heart for it. Imagine my surprise when I found out SHE had bought my dream stove before I could save up for it! Needless to say, I felt incredibly betrayed. I’ve basically been giving her the silent treatment for the better part of a year. To make matters worse, she acts like she has no idea why I’m so mad at her! My anger and hurt have gotten so bad that our friends called a meeting for us to talk it out, but I don’t want to hear anything from her unless it’s an apology. What should I do?
This is appalling! I can’t believe someone would call themselves a friend and buy an appliance you hope to buy. She’s lucky that you stopped at ending your friendship and didn’t pursue legal action. She owes you millions in damages for this.
You should talk to your friend one more time. Explain to her how hurt you feel that she valued your opinions so much that she bought a furniture item that you wanted. Tell her how hurt you are that she took this from you. She may, erroneously, believe that you both could own the same appliance. Some people are just so self-absorbed that they don’t see how their purchases stop you from buying the same thing. The most insulting part is that she is pretending to not know. The first thing we are taught in elementary school is that you can’t buy something that someone else wants.
You deserve an apology. What I do when I want an apology is write the apology I deserve with some blanks in it. Then I give it to the person that owes me an apology for them to fill in the blanks.
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