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Ok. So here's my issue. I posted on here last year about my delemma that i was in love with my best friends (lets call her Becka) boyfriend (lets call him Ron). Anyway. The end of that is that Ron dumped Becka for me and when i finally got up the currage to tell her that we were dating we managed to be mature about it and we're still the best of friends. If anything i think we've gotten closer, wich i know sounds wierd, but it doesn't matter to me :) So anyway. Today I'm here with another problem I'd really apreciate some advice on wich again concerns Ron (who is now my boyfriend of nearly 10 months), but in rather a different light. Me and Ron have been arguing a lot recently. Mostly over really petty pointless things, but never the less we argue. He is very stubburn so most of the time i back down and end up appologising to him, even if i know that he is the one in the wrong. One recent example of this was last month when my brother was in an accident and had to be rushed to hospital to have stitches. This has never happened to anyone in my family before and as u can imagine both me and my sister were very shocked and upset, especially since it happened so fast. Anyway. I was talking to Ron on MSN at the time. Since we live rather far away from each other this is how we normally keep in touch since we don't get to see each other very offten. Anyway I was in shock so turned to Ron for comfort. However. He hurt me a bit by not seaming too bothered about my brother or me for that matter and being much more interested in the football that he was watching at the time. Well. This made me very angry. I signed off in a very bad mood leaving Ron very confused as to why I'd suddenly left the conversation. Anyway. Later that night when my brother came home i went back online to tell the rest of my friends who had expressed some worry and concern for my feelings and my little brother that he was alright and for them not to worry. This is when i got into the argument with Ron. He did not see anything wrong with his behavior and was angry at me for being so "touchy" and "stupid". I tried to fight for myself. I truely did. I just can't seam to do it. So in the end predictably i gave in and it was me the one who appollogised and begged for forgiveness. As usual. Now. When i told one of my best friends the next day, (lets call her Kelly), she got both very angry at me and at Ron. She was angry at Ron for me if you know what i mean, but she was also angry at me for not standing up for myself because it was clearly not me in the wrong. So. Later on that night Kelly and Ron got into an argument on MSN wich concluded in Ron being angry at me for not taking his side against Kelly. Don't get me wrong. I love Ron. More than anything. More than he'll ever understand. But recently I've seen a side of him I hadn't expected and don't really like. It was rough going for about a week. And with the news of an unwanted return of an ex boyfriend into my life, problems at home, and worries of school, I was feeling very down. Thankfully things eventually got back to normal with Ron and we did what we always do. Just don't mension it and pretend nothing ever happened. Anyway. Things were getting better slowly and they were looking up for a few days, untill this weekend. Ron is rather a conputer genius and spends much of his time developing programmes and so on. Saturday night he'd managed to get an app on his laptop to play the sound of a voovoo zela (those irritating things you hear in the background of football matches in the world cup). Anyway he was very amused and said to me "yay i can annoy people with this now". After saying this he sends the clip to my friend Kelly over MSN. Kelly obviously got very annoyed and asked me to tell him to stop. So i did, to wich he replied by calling her a bitch. This made me angry and i retorted by saying, "woh hey that's my friends your calling a bitch" to wich he replied, "and that's your boyfriend she's now telling to fuck off". I was not in the happyest of moods anyway having discovered some home truths about my family earlier on that day and was very worried so I honestly didn't have the patients to deal with the two of them arguing so i just told them both to grow up and if they can't be sivilised to each other that they should just ignore each other. I worried about it all night and therefore was shocked to recieve a perfectly normal response from both of them the next day. Especially since Ron in particular had seamed very angry. However I didn't complain and just went along with it. I know these examples seam very petty and not very important but they are only two examples of many arguments recently many of wich have been much bigger and more serious than these. My problem is that I dont like the side of Ron I've recently discovered. I've come to learn that he has a real mean streak and is incredibly stubburn. I am a push over I admit but I'm starting to get tired of being walked on all the time and being the guillty party every time. Not once has he admitted to being wrong or appologising for his behavior. Not without me begging for forgiveness first. It also worries and irritates me how much he is in contact with other girls. A few in particular he seams very close with. This worries me because through getting close is how our relationship developed. I'm afraid he'll do what he did to Becka to me. Am I wrong for feeling like this? Is it hypocritical of me? I'm also terrifide of the prospect of him and Becka being in the same room without me there. This is one of the things that worries me most. I don't have a right to really since I'm depending on him to trust me when i have to spend a week with my ex boyfriend in the summer in a holiday camp. So am I wrong for not trusting him with her when I'm counting on his trust in me? Is it wrong that I'm so jellus of his other female friends? And is it wrong that I let him walk all over me all the time? Is it wrong that I want him to ask how I'm feeling or how was my day once in a while? Is it wrong that if i tell him about one of my problems that I want him to ask me about it every now and again? I do love him dearly. Despite all these fears and worries. Is it wrong that I'm scared he doesn't love me nearly as much as I love him? And is it wrong that I want him to change? Please help! I'm very confused and this is effecting my entire life :'(

read comments (3) you are RIGHT! (3) - you are WRONG! (2)
July 6, 2010 at 9:19 am by Anonymous in - Relationships