Today’s letter was written to Eva
Waves of feelings in my life. I never feel steady on course. Sometimes it feels like I can achieve anything, do anything, make it “big.” Then I feel like I am lost, a loser, confused how to “make it” let alone make it “big.”
I am in a creative field business-wise, work for myself. I work hard, however I think the doubts I have slow me down often and prevent me from seeing it bright and clear in the end. I am happy when there is work. I am unhappy when there is no work. I feel tired, often “hunting” for work rather than working on what I am good at. I have connected with people who advise me on marketing, media, technology to get it all going, but I think in the end I sabotage myself with my own disbelief in me. As I mentioned, it comes and goes but it must have a tremendous impact on the way my business-life goes. And yes, my parents never told me I could do “anything” or be “anything”. They put me on a life path that I refused, rejected. I chose my own path and sometimes I think there is a “family curse” over me, called: not to succeed. Question: how do I break away from linking myself to them and what they wanted and thought of me? Feels so simple when I write it, but in practice it has the connectivity I feel almost daily. I know I do not need it or want it. Thank you in advance!
I recently finished the Netflix series “The Magicians,” so I am qualified to advise you on matters of magic. It sounds like this is strong magic, the kind that you can’t overcome by meeting with a therapist or working on your victim complex. When magic is oppressing you, you can only fight it with magic.
Herein lies the major problem, you need to study and work to become proficient at magic, but the spell your parents put on you is likely too strong to let you learn a new skill. So ultimately, you are left with no other solution but to kill your parents and break their spell.
It is very important that you avoid taking personal responsibility for the way your life is going and continue to blame your parents for everything. Literally nobody can overcome things like their parents pushing them towards a career path they didn’t want. That is a completely insurmountable obstacle that would impair the rest of your life even without the hex.
So what I’m saying is that the only way to break the hex is to kill your parents and even that won’t solve the irreparable damage they did by withholding their support. Your only option is a lifetime of mediocrity and underachieving. You should write a long, cathartic letter to your parents so that they feel as awful about their parenting as you do. Misery loves company, and if you are unhappy it is only fair for them to be miserable too.
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